Joke tym..

“Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero!”

- Putok

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Juan: Buwiset na shampoo ito.. hindi bumubula

Pedro: paanong bubula yan hindi naman basa ang buhok mo!!!

Juan: Baliw!!! for dry hair nga daw ito eh!!! bobo ka ba??!! Epal

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For the finals of the Australian Cow Milking Championship, an Australian, a German and a Filipino were given 15 minutes each to milk as much as they could from cows assigned to them. After 15 minutes …
“Australian contestant, how much did you get?”
A gallon,” the contestant shouted. Palakpakan.
“German contestant, how much?”
“A gallon and a half, sir!” Mas masigabong palakpakan.
“Filipino contestant, how much did you milk?”
“One teaspoon, sir!” Nakabibinging katahimikan.”Beg your pardon sir, but … they gave me a bull!”

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Consul: Y do u wana go 2 d US?
Amo: To travel to visit friends & fly d airplane
Consul: Denied!
Consul: And u?
Inday: For life is a neverending pursuit of material & social satisfaction dat I tender my gr8 intent of actualizng a trnspacific journey 2 d land of milk & honey. An affable sanctuary wer dreams bcome reality and a perfct habitat wer souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.
Consul: LIFETIME MULTIPLE ENTRY VISA GRANTED!

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Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
–Miguel: H….O….
Teacher: Bilisan mo
–Miguel: H….O….R…
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
–Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig…

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PARROT: Psst! Baho! Baho! Baho!
IKAW: Pag sinabi mo pa uli sa kin yan, papatayin kita!
> >D next day…
PARROT: Psst! Psst!
IKAW: O, Bakit?!
PARROT: Lam mo na yun!