Erap Jokes!

Erap calling U.P. Diliman:

Erap: Hello! Is this Diliman?
Operator; No, this is Padre Faura!
Erap: I’m sorry father, wrong number!!!

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Loi while laboring:

Erap phoned a doctor, asking for assistance.
Erap: Doc, what will I do? Loi is laboring and she’s in pain.
Doctor: Is this her first baby?
Erap: No, this is Erap.

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While taking a shower at home and calling for Loi:

Erap: Bakit walang shampoo dito?
Loi: Anong wala, kabibili ko lang kanina ng shampoo, eh!
Erap: Eh, puro for Dry Hair lang ang meron, basa na ang buhok ko!!!

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In a science class:

Classmate: Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elisi, umaangat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din?
Erap: Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, pinipigilan yon!!!

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During a state dinner with the wives in Washington, Dc.

Bill to Hillary: Please pass the sugar, SWEETHEART
Blair to wife: Please pass the honey, HONEYBUNCH
Erap to Loi: Please pass the pork, PORKYPIG

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Buntis

Jinggoy: Dad, anong palang tawag sa damit na pambuntis? Fraternity dress ba?
Erap: Mali! Panlalake yon! Sorority dress dapat!

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President

Marcos proved that you’ll be rich if you become President.
Cory proved that anyone can be president.
Erap is proving that we don’t need a president.

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LITERS

Question: Ilang liters meron and Coke 2000
Erap: Apat! Liter C, liter O, liter K, liter E (he-he-he) Huwag ninyo akong subukan